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Random Blog Journey-2-Peace: July 2007

    Trish Monaco.
    singer. songwriter.
    dog walker.
    human. living.
    loving. laughing.
    in Los Angeles

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Saturday, July 14, 2007


I don't mean to be a downer but man, I'm feeling low. Just blah. I didn't realize just how much the sun plays on my moods. The gray days of New England keep me down. As clouds pass and release the sun, there's an immediate euphoric reaction in me. But when those clouds build and cover more of the sky, I fall.

It's also difficult as I struggle in a day-job, working more hours for half the pay I'd become accustomed to. Even when my dog business was at its lowest, I still made more than I'm making now. It sucks the energy right out of me. Very discouraging.

I'm learning a lot about what poverty-level income really is. I wish I could remember this as incentive to get my music recorded and go on the road selling CDs or something. I'm actually considering not going back to school because I don't want to rack up more debt. Even though the education should pay off in the long run.

So I'm back to screenwriting. Because I don't have any formal training (structure, format, etc) I'm looking into workshops and other programs to help me with the fundamentals. If I have to work a day-job, I had better be doing something else to keep me creative.

Songwriting is at a high again. With all these trapped emotions, it only makes sense that they should pour out somewhere. I just feel so stifled from 8 to 4 every day.

PBX helped me get my ass in gear and pushed me out the door to an open mic Thursday night at Tupelo. It was actually great to be out. We saw some talented musicians. Even a little 13-year-old girl who sang some Hilary Duff cover - a capella. So bold. She put everything into perspective.

Each performer got to play/sing two songs. I went on 4th out of about 20. Things are so different today. I get so worked up. So nervous. So sick. During the first song, I opened my eyes to look at the crowd and all I could think was, "What am I doing here?"

Even with all my nerves and stomach upset and my own self-criticism (really, it wasn't my best performance), I was still well-received and encouraged. PBX, who has heard that opening song umpteen times, leaned over and said, "I could listen to you sing that song over and over." (um, you have)

It amazes me that I have this in me -- but I don't know what to do with it or where to go with it. And when it gets to a certain point, I drop it. This is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Could be why the day-gigs never feel so right.

I'm just beginning to tap in to understanding what people call "fear of success." It always sounded strange to me. But when things I create start to being me positive results, it's my M.O. to sabotage it.

...just something to think about.

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

Riverfront Music Festival

It's difficult to make outdoor plans in New England because of the ever-changing weather. Yesterday called for Isolated Thunder-Storms for three hours of the day. It also called for Mostly Cloudy Skies and Scattered Thunder-Showers. What's the difference between a thunder-storm and a thunder-shower? And what's the difference between Isolated and Scattered?

Yesterday proved that the only thing that matters is location location location. We were in Newburyport, MA for the annual Riverfront Music Festival. A free outdoor concert sponsored by Boston independent radio station 92.5 The River. The positive energy and live music kept the rain away for the entire day and night.

Three artists were scheduled. Johnette Napolitano opened. (remember her from Concrete Blonde?)
Just her and a guitar -- and her cell phone. She called her dad (twice) while on stage. It was his wedding day. The big kick was that it was 7/7/7 and her dad and his bride were both 70. She never really got hold of her dad. But we got to cheer for family members who let us know he was in the shower getting ready for the big day.

Next up was a band from New York - The Damnwells.

The music on their site doesn't do them much justice. They were great live. Their lead singer is adorable and plays both guitar and keyboard. That's hot.

In my (humble?) opinion, they were the best of the bunch.

DeSol was the headliner. They got the crowd up and dancing but I assumed it was a rain dance. Well, that and a drunken dance. I know it was for me. Their music was fun but it sounded the same after a while.

Later we had a fabulous seafood dinner overlooking the mouth of the Merrimack River where it meets the ocean. Then we walked along the quaint area of downtown Newburyport and overdid it with a scoop of ice cream.

It wasn't until our drive home (about an hour) when we saw rain. Turned out the perfect Saturday on the coast.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Keeping It Real

I guess it's true - it doesn't matter where I am, issues will always catch up with me. Or in some cases, hunt me down and crash into me.

I haven't been sick (like, can't-get-out-of-bed-fatigue-fever-sick) in ages. Perhaps a few years. But I've been down for the count for two days now. I'm hardly sitting up and my wrists are warm with fever.

So I stayed home from work today. I can't remember the last time I called in sick somewhere. I really don't like doing that. Two reasons: I let work down and I let myself down. (It's a busy time at work and I don't get paid when I'm out.)

But I know my body. When my skin hurts and I can hardly keep my eyes open, I can't fight it. Just flushing it out. Fluids and Tylenol.

It's depressing. Gives me even more time to dwell on things. I'd much rather be busy.

It's possible that I've run myself into the ground these past couple of weeks. I started this new job but I've basically kept my regular bedtime (after midnight).

I did an open mic last week. That kept me up and out late. And when PBX works the dinner shift (waiting tables) it's typical for me to pick her up at midnight, since we share one car.

I plan on hitting a few more open mics. Most are during the week because these venues usually book gigs on weekends. So that will mean more late nights. I guess this is the life of a musician.

That was one of the main reasons I started dog walking. So I could sleep in and have more free time to be creative. Nice way to remember.

It's also a bit depressing to work all week and make half the pay I'm used to. I'm trying to stay positive. This whole experience is helping me put things into great perspective.

I just realized I used the word depressing more than once in this entry. At least I'm keeping it real.

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