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Random Blog Journey-2-Peace: January 2006

    Trish Monaco.
    singer. songwriter.
    dog walker.
    human. living.
    loving. laughing.
    in Los Angeles

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Sunday, January 29, 2006

Moving, Dogs and Filming

I have a few moments to write and reflect. Time seems so precious lately. It's a nice reminder. For the past few years I'd been hibernating, writing, resting, healing, growing. I see now some of what I was preparing myself for.

Two and three years ago I couldn't even imagine a life so busy. It was too overwhelming. Today I can hardly imagine a life with much free time. One thing I know about me and life - things occur in cycles. This just happens to be a time of movement. Lots of movement.

Speaking of that. I've moved (again). It happened so fast that this post may be the first that family and friends will hear of it. Actually, I'm mid-move. Most of my stuff is moved. We're going to (hopefully) finish moving everything today. Gotta clean, do the last of my laundry and hand over the keys.

I'm still debating on the best way to remove that sofa. We know it won't fit through the front door. We're pretty sure it will fit through the window. The problem with that is we're on the second floor. Most likely I'll just take a chainsaw to the damn thing. Okay, maybe just a drill. I'll remove it in pieces. As long as it gets out. That's all that matters at this moment. Nothing will be left behind.

Once this is finished, I'll be able to focus more on my dogs and the film project. We start shooting next weekend. We're still casting, scheduling, scouting locations and organizing craft services. What else? Have I missed anything? I'm sure I have. It's okay. I've got a list here somewhere.

My dog walker friend is returning to work this week. It will free up my schedule a bit -- perhaps a bit too much actually. My clientele is at an all-time low. I plan on posting more ads and hanging more fliers.

I've been reevaluating my position as a dog walker lately. I had a traumatic incident between two of my own dogs a few weeks ago. And I didn't handle it as well as I should have. One dog bit another. I got them separated and put them both in their place. But I didn't thoroughly check each dog for bites. Later my client came home to see her dog had open puncture wounds in three different places. The dog needed stitches and immobilization for three weeks.

So as it stands today, I've lost both dogs as clients. Whether it's permanent or temporary is unknown. I don't feel comfortable taking the biting dog with us. It came out of nowhere. I'd never had an experience like that with her, ever. Plus, she's a breed that just isn't known for attacking the way she did.

I also may lose the other dog because of my mistake. Not because of the biting dog. Because of my own negligence. I should have known to thoroughly check each dog right there in the moment. It happened in front of my eyes. And still I missed it.

Accidents happen. I can live with a dog fight. What I struggle with is my part in this. I'm less upset about the dog bite incident than I am with how I handled it. There is no room for error when it comes to the health and well-being of a dog - especially one in my care.

So yeah, reevaluating. I'm learning valuable lessons from all this.

Today: moving, paperwork, phone calls, follow-ups.

peace to all.

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

What am I doing?

So, I'm coasting along in this life of mine, when suddenly I find myself on this wild ride. All kinds of new, fun, interesting adventures. I signed on to a film project not knowing exactly what I'd be doing. I only knew they could use the help and I wanted to be involved.

I've spent a fair amount of time on film/tv sets - enough to understand the basics (I'm talking FilmSets 101). I understand the basic role of the director and the actors. I have hands-on experience at the bottom of the pond as a PA. So I just took a guess at what happens in between. Now I'm learning - more than I ever thought I wanted to know. And I'm liking it.

You are reading the words of the 2nd Assistant Director on a grad student short film. We shoot on weekends. There's no pay. And I'm not a student. It's almost the perfect situation.

How? Think about it -- I'm getting great experience from a top film school and I can't fail the class. Of course, my mistakes could fuck up my friends' grades. So I do get a little stressed out about double- and triple-checking my work. But it should be that way. It means I care about it.

What do I do as a 2nd AD? So far this is what I know: Follow the AD around with her puppy dog, like a puppy dog. Assist in keeping everything on schedule. Suck up to the actors and make sure they have what they need. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Smile. Cheer. Keep the energy light and fun. Break tension by cracking jokes and doing yoga.

Okay so some of the job description is ad-libbed. But it seemed to work yesterday. We'll see how the next 5 weekends go.

My main concern through all this is Hunny. She can't be on set. Shoot days are scheduled for 12 hours - not including drive time. And take one guess who needs to be the first to arrive and the last to leave. So if anyone is available for some Hunny-sitting, let me know. We're shooting every weekend in February.

Enough out of me. More paperwork to do.
Peace all.

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Passion, Creativity and Abundance

It seems my '06 blogging defaults to a weekly schedule. I guess this could mean I'm busy living. There's so much change in the air - all around - in just about every aspect of my life. This could be scary. Mostly though, I'm remembering love. The path is the way. I suppose.

I find it fascinating that it can be difficult to trust the goodness around me. I believe in it. But being in it is surprisingly frightening. I'd like to believe I will maintain this level of integrity throughout the process. To stay committed to growth and truth.

The more my heart expands, to the same level does it contract. As much as I want to ride an eternal swelling wave, I find myself waiting for the drop of duality. The drop is inevitable. But the fear of it keeps me one step out of the moment.

I'm learning.

Finding balance is always my challenge. Remembering my selfness.

Still searching for passion in my work. I love my work with the dogs. But there's something ... something missing perhaps. I'm exploring what that means for me. I love playing and writing music. Again though, there's something missing. Missing in me. A disconnect. A blockage. Still exploring.

I want to dive into a project. I want to feel a sense of purpose - working toward a goal, a personal accomplishment. Something I can call my own that I can share with the world. And I want to know financial abundance through that creative expression.

Saying that seems to cheapen my desire a bit. I know money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes the road a lot easier.

Passion, Creativity and Abundance: I'm learning how to merge these qualities. I was taught (like many) that in order to make money, I need to work. I need not enjoy the work. I just need to be good at it. For many years I bought into that theory. And I was miserable.

This last decade has been about unlearning and deprogramming those messages. My dog walking business has been a great lesson. I do love that work. But it's not my life's passion. It provides a sense of accomplishment, some stability and freedom. Still, if I had to rank my work in order of importance and its level of fulfillment, dog walking would be #2.

So then, what's number one? This is where I fall short. I do not know the answer to that question. Perhaps I know, but I don't remember.

Until then, I will continue to put my heart into the dog business. Number two is way better than some of the alternatives. I remain grateful for this life I've chosen, this life I've created, this life I live.

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Friday, January 06, 2006

2006 Accomplishments

Carol said:

It is now day five of the new year and I can see that posting entries is not a priority. just giving you a hard time because I'm bored. no biggie.

I know, it's hard to believe we're almost a full week into the new year and I haven't posted a thing since last year. Sorry Carol.

Let it be known though, that I've gotten more accomplished in 2006 than I did in the last couple of months of 2005. It must be that kind of year again. Whatever that kind of year means.

So, let's see, so far (in addition to day one of the new year)

I got the PeaceMobile detailed through-and-through. It's so nice to drive a clean car -- As clean as it can be, towing a pack of dogs every day.

The PeaceMobile also got its regularly scheduled service. Oil change, new wiper blades, air conditioning filter change and all points checked. I love that I'm keeping up with that.

I gained a new client - 3 days a week.

Plus a new training experiment with an adopted dog. Will work with him once a week for a few weeks.

I cleaned every last towel and blanket from the car after a muddy dogpark day.

I trimmed Hunny's floppy, mudcrusted paws.

We picked up our "new best friends" at the airport.

Celebrated Hunny's eleventh birthday on the 5th.

I've managed to dodge a cold that's been hovering for months. ::knocking wood::

And now I'm preparing to leave town for the weekend. So I'd better wrap this up.

More photos to come. Hope you're all enjoying this wonderful year so far.

~peace~

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Sunday, January 01, 2006

Day One 2006

It's been a very productive new year so far. And I haven't even left the apartment. It's been cold and rainy all weekend - and will continue through Monday. But I'm getting a lot accomplished.

First, I slept in. It wasn't planned. I just didn't get up till 10:30am. The entire morning was already gone by the time I got out of bed. The good news: I wasn't anxious about it.

I organized my year's receipts to get them ready for tax preparation. Did you get that? Prepping for tax prep. Well, it's a start. They are separated by category in envelopes. I bought Quicken last year for this very purpose. I still haven't the slightest idea how to use the program.

Next I cleared piles of papers and filed everything.

I removed all the photos around my desk to make room for new ones.

I renewed my Norton Anti-virus that had expired last week.

I ordered my spf face stuff that I'm running out of.

I printed my entire email address book to cross-check with contacts in my new email address.

I've started hand writing in a journal again.

I had a lovely conversation with God.

I gave my poor guitar some loving with a nice wipedown and replaced the old, dull strings with my favorite phosphor bronze.

While looking for my guitar gear (wire cutters, strings, winders) I found my camera bag with the extra battery that I had misplaced a few months ago.

I joined Hunny in a nap.

I ate two hot meals in one day. Yummy homemade potato soup (thanks Andi) and left over wonton soup (thanks Robbie).

I took a long hot shower.

I made a few client phone calls, and scheduled an appointment with a potential new client.

I practiced the art of procrastination to the Nth degree by adding to the pile of dirty dishes in the sink and by avoiding the vacuum all in the same day. Go me!

The night is still young. I hope to play those phosphor bronzies, challenge my mind with some tangram and give God another love shout before I lay to rest for another winter night.

Much love and peace to all.